Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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