A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
