would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
