Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
