dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
