Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
