babies were throwing up all over the place
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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