I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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