that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
