This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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