Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
