i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
