So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
