is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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