Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
