Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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