Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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