New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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