I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
