Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
