he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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