my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
As shirtless as possible
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
