these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
