Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Let's get the cat blown out
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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