awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
