if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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