She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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