I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
