Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
