I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
