shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
