please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
