She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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