Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
