you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
