Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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