Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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