guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
