i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
