On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
im holly from the hills drunk
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
