Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
