that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She just used a chaser for red wine.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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