All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
