I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
