I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
