i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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