our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
