So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her vagine was all disorganized.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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