Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
