Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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