I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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